Not all “self help” posts come with disclaimers and caveats, so I’d like to share a general one. 

The well-intentioned language, quotes and phrases we use may not always land for you. They can sometimes be triggering if the message can’t actually be fully received and implemented.

I’m talking about the “Just do its!” the “Put yourself firsts” and the “Get out of your own ways” (yes, what I literally just posted on my Instagram).

Don’t get me wrong, there can be a real benefit to this kind of motivational messaging. For some, these words can be such beautiful and helpful reminders. AND this kind messaging could completely miss the mark for you if it is not realistic, if your trauma is running the show, if your mental health is suffering or your nervous system can’t handle it. 

You may want so badly to “just do it” but you may subconsciously sabotage the effort or you may not know how. Maybe your brain and body first needs some deep rest and healing otherwise you’d be fighting an uphill battle. You may want to “put yourself first” but maybe you grew up in a home where you needed to put everyone else first to literally survive, so doing this would trigger some serious trauma that you don’t know how to navigate. You may want to “get out of your own way” but maybe staying in your own way is telling your subconscious mind that you’re safe. And, maybe all of this messaging is just making you feel worse because you don’t feel like you can do it and you don’t understand why. 

Whenever you’re reading self help type of content, please remember this and remember to check in with yourself. If something doesn’t work for you, there is nothing wrong with you, the message may just not be right for you. It could be an invitation for you to go practice some compassionate curiosity with yourself. To go deeper and ask yourself what is going on, what resistance you have to it, what is scaring you, why you don’t feel like you can, etc. It might be an invitation to work with a professional to help you navigate what’s standing in your way. To tend to your inner world and wounds first.

You are always the expert in your own life. Others’ words may not work for you and that’s OK. 

Caveat closed. 🙂